The School Dance
by mrseddievedder
Summary: Love is not in the air as the Valentine's Day dance arrives. Includes a big Daniel-Kim sequence.


_**Kim and Daniel are walking down the hallway. Daniel is upset because he has no money. They're meeting up with the other freaks later.**_

**Daniel**

Kim, get off my coattails, all right?

**Kim**

Okay! I'm just saying, the reason you have no money is because you spent it all on drugs! Stop smoking pot, and you wouldn't have this problem! Stop complaining like a five year old!

**Daniel**

Listen, nutcase. I don't need you lecturing me on money! Didn't your mom blow her rent money on a $300 bottle of wine?

**Kim, looking hurt and about to cry**

Screw you, Daniel**. (Runs away in tears) **

**Fade out. Theme song **

_**The geeks are the cafeteria. They're talking about the dance in five days.**_

**Bill**

So fellas, are we going to the dance stag?

**Harris**

Judith said if I didn't ask her to the dance, she was going to ask out my younger brother, Marris.

**Neal**

Marris?

**Harris**

My parents wanted us to have rhyming names, but nothing rhymes with Harris.

**Sam**

I'm going ask out the new girl, Linda Danes.

**Neal**

Linda? She's gorgeous, smart, and sweet. You don't stand a chance. (jokingly) I'm aiming a person less likely to dump me.

**Bill (chortling)**

Who would that be? Cross-eyed Cathy?

**Neal**

As a matter of fact, I'm going to ask Jenny Williams.

**Bill**

How on earth is she below you? She's a **cheerleader.**

**Neal (with a big smile on his face)**

Yes, but she's at the bottom of the pyramid.

**Gordon**

You have a seriously over inflated ego.

**Fade out. **

_**The freaks are near the bleachers, without Daniel. They're also talking about the dance.**_

**Nick**

Did you hear about the stupid Valentine's Day dance thing at the end of the week?

**Ken (agitated) **

My parents said I have to go. They say it's good for my "self esteem", **(air quotes) **but they really just wanna get me outta the house. Plus, Amy wants to go.

**Kim (looking disappointed) **

I **was** gonna go with Daniel, but he called my mother an irresponsible alcoholic.

**Lindsay (surprised) **

That doesn't seem like him at all.

**Kim (looking embarrassed)**

Well, he didn't say it **outright.** But after I told him off for spending all his money on weed… (**Nick and Ken looking ashamed) **he mentioned the fact that my mom once spent all our money (**she winces)**

**Ken**

Well, you **were** kinda being a bitch. Besides, you call your mother a witchy old druggie all the time.

**Kim**

That is so not the point!

**Nick**

By the way, where is Daniel?

**Fade out. **

_**Daniel is at a grocery store. He walks up to the general manager. He is old and fat, with a southern accent.**_

**Daniel**

Helllooooo? Anyone here?

**Manager**

How d'ya do there, son?

**Daniel**

I need some money.

**Manager (confused)**

What… does this have to do with … me?

**Daniel**

I need a job. **(pleadingly)**

**Manager**

Well, an extra set of hands never hurts. How does bag boy sound, how about 5.50 an hour?

**Daniel (relieved)**

That would be… good. Thanks man.

**Manager (smiling)**

You're welcome, "man."

**Fade out**

_**In between classes. Lindsay and Nick are talking.**_

**Nick**

Linds, I have a question for you.

**Lindsay (stops walking)**

Yeah, Nick?

**Nick (hemming and hawing)**

I was wondering if maybe… you would... like to..

**Lindsay**

Spit out, Nick.

**Nick (really quickly) **

Doyouwannagotothedancewithme!

**Lindsay**

Ahhh, you know we're broken up, right?

**Nick**

I know, but my parents don't and they really liked you, so if told them we went to the dance…(**trailing off)**

**Lindsay**

Oh, well then **(brightening)**, sure!

**Nick**

See ya tomorrow.

**Fade out.**

_**Sam is going to ask out Linda, and Neal is going to ask Jenny out.**_

**Sam**

Hey Linda.

**Linda**

Oh, hi Sean.

**Sam**

My name is Sam.

**Linda (embarrassed)**

Oh, I'm so sorry!

**Sam**

It's okay. Listen I was wondering… Do you want to go to the dance with me?

**Linda (considering it)**

You know what, I would love to go with you.

**Sam (eager)**

Really?

**Linda**

Really.

**Sam**

I'll pick you up at seven.

**Neal**

Showtime.** (calling across the hallway)** Hey, Jenny!

**Jenny (snapping gum)**

Whaddaya want?

**Neal (muttering)**

I can see why you're the bottom of the pyramid.

**Jenny **

What?

**Neal**

Nothing. I was wondering if you would want to go to the dance with me on Friday.

**Jenny**

Will you pay?

**Neal**

Uhh, yeah.

**Jenny**

Sure, I'll go, Nat.

**Neal**

I'll pick you up at seven. By the way, my name is **Neal**.

**Jenny (dismissively) **

Whatever.**  
Fade out.**

**Lindsay and Amy are trying on dresses and Kim is giving advice. Ken, and Nick are trying on suits, and at a different department store, so are Sam and Neal.**

**Amy (in the dressing room)**

I'm so excited that Ken is taking me. I know he's not too excited, but I'm jumping out of my skin.** (comes out of dressing room) **What do you think? (tries on a knee length, dark blue dress)

**Lindsay and Kim (in unison)**

Perfect.

**Amy**

Okay, Lindsay, try on your dress.

**Lindsay**

I wish I could go with a guy who's taking me for a reason besides parental approval.

**Kim (snorting)**

You believed that lousy excuse? He's still totally into you.

**(sighs)** I wish Daniel wasn't such a jerk.

_**Into the men's dressing room. Ken and Nick are talking **_

_**about the dance.**_

**Ken **

I can't believe Lindsay fell for that "my-parents-made-me-do-it" crap.

**Nick**

It's not crap. My parents LOVED Lindsay. They said she was sweet and smart, and maybe her sweetness and smartness would rub onto me… (dazing off)

**Ken**

Earth to Andopolis. You gotta focus. Does this suit even fit me?

_**Entering Sam and Neal's dressing room.**_

**Sam**

I'm really excited about taking Linda to the dance.

**Neal**

I'm not. My date's evil.

**Sam**

Then, why are you going with her?

**Neal (matter-of-factly)**

'cause she's hot! Are you stupid, Sam! **(tries on a smoking jacket)** What you think of this. I was going for handsome, dashing Jew.

**Sam**

You listen to your brother way too much. Besides, you look more like Hugh Hefner than anything else.

**Neal**

Shut up.

**Fade out.**

_**The Weir House. Lindsay and Sam are getting ready. Jean is maniacally taking pictures, and Harold is laying down the ground rules.**_

**Harold**

…. And no drinking, and no drugs, be home by eleven, and no hotel rooms, especially you, Lindsay.

**Lindsay**

Dad, I'm not gonna have sex with Nick

**Harold**

**(yelps) **That what they all say. Until that one sappy Led Balloon…

**Lindsay (groaning) **

Led Zeppelin

**Harold**

Whatever… song comes on the radio….. **( trailing off)  
Lindsay**

Dad, do you know this from experience?

**Harold (snaps)**

Doesn't matter how I know it.

**(doorbell rings)**_**Nick comes in with a corsage. He is wearing a tux and looks excited.**_

**Lindsay**

Hey, Nick.

**Nick**

Hey, Lindsay. Ready to go?

**Lindsay**

Yep.

**Jean**

Wait! I have to take one more picture! You two are just so cute.

**Lindsay (groaning)**

MOM!

**Jean**

What? I'm a mother, I can't help it.

_**Nick and Lindsay leave the Weir house. Sam goes to pick up Linda. Neal goes to pick up Jenny.**_

_**Sam rings the doorbell**_

**Linda**

Hello Sam

**Sam**

You look gorgeous.

**Linda**

Thank you Sam. You're so sweet.

_**Meanwhile, Neal's mom drops him off at Linda's house. Her house is huge. Neal is mad because he hates Jenny.**_

**Neal's Mom**

Wow! Who's your date, Stella McCartney?

**Neal**

I wish. Can I get out, please?

**Neal's Mom**

Okay, okay, ladies man. Can you give your mom a kiss?

**Neal**__**(sighs)**

Fine (**kisses her)**

_**He rings the doorbell. Jenny answers the door, snapping gum, looking annoyed.**_

**Jenny**

Oh, it's you. You bring tha cash?

**Neal**

Yeah, I did. You look beautiful.

**Jenny (vainly)**

I know. Let's blow this pop stand. I have to home by ten.

_**Fade out. Everyone is at the school dance. The DJ is playing "Take a Chance on Me" by ABBA. Ken and Amy are in the corner, making out. Lindsay and Nick walk in. **_

_**Daniel and Kim are not there. **_

**Nick (trying to make chit-chat)**

Soooo… this is nice.

**Lindsay**

Yeah. Nice.

**Ken (yelling over the music)**

THIS DJ SUCKS! WHO THE HELL TOLD HIM THAT ABBA WAS COOL! HOW"S YOUR NON-DATING EX?

**Nick**__

SHUT UP, MAN!

**Lindsay**

You wanna leave?

**Nick**

Like, leave to go where?

**Lindsay**

Just outside the school.

**Nick**

I'd love that.

_**Sam is at the punch bowl with Linda. **_

**Sam**

I can't believe it! You're the only girl I know that likes **Animal House.**

**Linda**

Are you joking? John Belushi was comical genius in that movie! My favorite scene is the exploding zit.

**Sam**

If you've seen that, then you've gotta see **The Jerk.**

**Linda**

What's that about?

**Sam**

It's about this guy, who was raised in Mississippi, and….

**Linda**

Sam.

**Sam**

Yeah?

**Linda**

Please kiss me.

**Sam (surprised)**

Really?

**Linda**

Yeah.

_**They kiss. Neal is slow dancing with Jenny.**_

**Jenny**

You're not holding me right, midget.

**Neal**

How am I supposed to hold you?

**Jenny**

I don't know, but different, dwarf!

**Neal**

I am not a midget! I'm just short!

**Jenny**__

Coulda fooled me, nerd!

**Neal**

You know what? You're a jerk, and I'm dumping you right NOW!

**Jenny**

You can't dump me, hobbit. I'm a cheerleader!

**Neal**

Yes I can! And you're at the bottom of the pyramid!

_**Jenny gasps and whines. Neal storms out. Fade out.**_

_**Nick and Lindsay are walking down the street, and they're talking.**_

**Nick**

By the way, I threw out my secret pot stash.

**Lindsay**

Really? Nick, that's awesome! I've telling you to stop for months!

**Nick**

I got sick of being in this haze, you know? It's like I couldn't think or enjoy anything.

**Lindsay**

I'm so proud of you. I knew you could do it!

**Nick**

The reason I'm mentioning this is because I couldn't do it without you. This might come as a surprise, but I only dated Sara to make you jealous.

**Lindsay**

Nick, I bet the President of the United States knew that.

**Nick (laughing)**

Was it that obvious?

**Lindsay**

Ah, yeah. Don't worry, it was really adorable.

**Nick**

I'm glad you think so.

_**They start to kiss. Fade out. **_

_**Kim is sitting in her room, doing her homework. She hears a knock on her window. It's Daniel. He has a corsage, a prom dress, a record, and cans of Pepsi. **_

**Kim (crying)  
**How do you afford this?

**Daniel**

I got a job as a bag boy.

_**She changes into the prom dress. He puts on the record. It's Jealous Guy by John Lennon. They start slow dancing in her bedroom, **_

**Kim's Mom**

Kim? What are you doing? If you're not studying, you're gonna flunk end up a loser like your father.

_**Fade out. End credits. **_


End file.
